Reframing: Helpful or Harmful?

Psychology terms often make their way into the mainstream. I believe this reflects our deep human desire to understand how our inner world works, which is a good thing.

Gaining insight into how we think, process, feel, and experience life, and becoming aware of both how we are impacted by others and how we impact them in return, are all parts of self-awareness that help us grow and thrive.

Yet sometimes these terms become weighted in ways that cause harm. Over time, a concept may pick up characteristics that distort its meaning and prevent it from moving us toward wholeness.

This week, I found myself thinking about the word reframing. When used as intended, reframing can be a powerful tool, helping us shift from stuckness to flow and growth. But when misused, it can feel dismissive and even harmful.

So let’s look at what reframing is not, and what genuine reframing is.

For reframing to be helpful, it must strengthen us. It should never minimize our experiences, emotions, or perceptions. Reframing is not about changing our experience of a situation; it’s about offering additional information and perspective that support how we interpret that situation.

Done well, reframing can help us see new possibilities, foster resilience, deepen understanding, and encourage a more positive or forward-looking mindset.

Reframing is not simply slapping a positive spin on something painful and telling someone to “look at it differently.” That kind of forced positivity is harmful, invalidating, minimizing, and even dangerous.

Instead, true reframing invites us to notice different perspectives - perspectives that might help us navigate the situation more effectively, broaden our understanding, and strengthen our capacity to endure and grow.

Reframing is also not about shutting down or changing our emotions. It’s not denial, not pretending problems don’t exist, and not dismissing how we feel. When it is used to minimize or invalidate, reframing becomes little more than “toxic positivity” - an avoidance strategy born out of fear of difficult emotions.

So, how do we use reframing in a way that helps rather than harms?

We start by validating emotions. Our emotions are real, valid, and worth acknowledging. They communicate valuable information about our inner world and how we are being affected by the world around us.

Emotions are not the truth of a situation; they are the truth of our experience of the situation. And that truth matters, because it tells us something important about ourselves.

Genuine reframing begins with honoring our experience: recognizing where we are and why it makes sense, given who we are, what we’ve been through, and what we know at the time.

Reframing, when used well, can encourage growth by widening the lens through which we see ourselves and our circumstances. It begins with honouring the truth of our emotions and our experiences, and then gently inviting in new possibilities that don't erase our feelings, but give us space to grow.

When approached this way, reframing doesn't minimize or dismiss; rather, it nurtures hope, resilience, and a deeper sense of understanding for the journey ahead.

~ Haide

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Questions for Reflection

• When have you experienced reframing in a way that felt validating and strengthening?

• Have there been times when reframing felt minimizing or dismissive? What made it feel that way?

• How might you begin to honor your emotions first before inviting in new perspectives?